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Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?

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Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?
07/17/02 at 04:23:40
Asalam Alaikum,
I am writing to you here today very depressed, sad and anxious, when i should be happy. I
recently found out it is haram to talk to the one you want ro marry before marriage, you
cant even talk to them online. But there are two sides to this one is a guy and a grl
cannot be alone together because there is the tempation of zinna, but if you're talking
online you cannot even physically touch each other so zinna cannot be committed. The other is
you can't talk to guys if youre a girl and vice versa, i'm specifically talking about
online chatting. I always thought it was a great way of getting to  know your future spouse.
If somebody is going to give me an answer please give me some daleel from Qur'an and
Sunnah. Jaza Kallah Kheir.
Re: Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?
07/18/02 at 11:24:23

[quote]I  recently found out it is haram to talk to the one you want ro marry before marriage[/quote]

It is? I thought it was a good idea to get to know your future spouse so that way you have less of a chance of running into problems later on. Like in the hadith where Prophet Muhammad  [saw] tells a guy to take a look at the woman he wants to marry before he actually marries her. But, I think there's a proper way and adab to go about doing things when it comes to marriage, and getting to know your future partner. For example, if the parents are made well aware of phe fact that you are interested in so and so person for marriage, you should all get together and talk to each other to see how the family dynamics are.  This is one of those situations where parental involvement is key every step of the way. They can give you good advice and help you avoid some pitfalls. Use their wisdom-that's what they're there for!

I think problems can come when you're just randomly talking to people of the other sex online and justifying it by saying, "well i'm getting to know them in the off chance that we may get married."  I think intention also has a lot to do with it and what *exactly* it is that you're talking about.  which brings up another point, you said:

[quote]but if you're talking online you cannot even physically touch each other so zinna cannot be committed.[/quote]\

I think that it can be committed, because there's a hadith that says your eyes commit zina when you look at something you're not supposed to, your mouth could commit zina if you say something you're not supposed to, your fingers could commit zina by TYPING something you're not supposed to.  People can cross the lines when they talk about stuff that they shouldn't talk about, things that, were they in person w/ the brother, they would never even dream of saying. So i can see where people say that online "chatting" is a no-no, since you're sort of "alone" somewhere in cyberspace. I apologize if my post isn't based heavily on evidence from Qur'and and sunnah, but i hope it helps, and please forgive me if i have said anything incorrect.

Re: Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?
07/18/02 at 12:27:33
[color=Teal] [slm]Sister,

This is taken from Islamic Fatwa Regarding Women compiled by Muhammad bin abdul Aziz al Musnad and translated by  Jamaal Al-Din M. Zarabozo.

Question 169: What is the ruling concerning letters or correspondence between young men and women, given that these correspondences do not contain any lewdness, passion or amorous flavor?

Response:  It is not allowed for a man to have correspondence with any woman whom he is not related to.  This is because this is a source of temptation.  The one involved may think that there is no temptation involved but the devil may continue to work on him until he becomes enticed by her and her by him.  The Prophet  [saw] ordered that the one who heard about the anti-Christ's arrival should remain far away from him.  He said that a man will come to him as a believer but anti-Christ will keep working on him until he tempts him.  Similarly, correspondence between young men and women is a great temptation and something very much to be avoided.  One must refrain from it even he claims there is no lewdness or passion involved. As for correspondence between men and men or women and women, there is no harm in that as long as such correspondence  does not contain anything forbidden.   Shaikh ibn Jibreen

From my own personal experience you never truly know someone until you live with them.   ;) Many sisters that I know have made the nikaah, but  waited to celebrate and consumate the marriage. It was during this period that they got to know each other better.

Marcie  :-) [/color]
Re: Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?
07/18/02 at 17:23:45

[quote]It is not allowed for a man to have correspondence with any woman whom he is not related to.[/quote]

Sr. Marcie, with all due respect to Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (though I am not sure who he is), this fatwa is really strange.  No correspondance whatsoever between a man and a woman who are not related?  Maryam Jameelah, who is a famous writer and a political figure, became Muslim after her correspondance with Abul A'laa Maududi for several years while she resided in Europe and he resided in Pakistan.  There was no relationship between the two.  And Maududi is known for his *strict* opinions regarding relations between non-mahrams.

Also, nowadays I think it would be virtually impossible for men and women to work together in the field of da'wah without corresponding with each other over email.  Imagine the MSA Natl President, a brother who lives in DC, trying to communicate with the VP, a sister who lives in St. Louis, if he cannot email her!  How would they communicate?

P.S. I do not know who Shaykh Ibn Jibreen is, and in what time period he lived in.  Can anyone give a brief bio about him here?  Where is he from?  Is he still alive?  And what are his qualifications?
07/18/02 at 17:24:18
fatwa Re: Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?
07/18/02 at 18:53:11
assalaamu alaikum

I agree with Sh. Ibn Jibreen whose opinion.

The fatwa is addressing issues pertaining more to what happens in chat rooms and between brothers and sisters who maintain 'platonic' relationships, than the two examples you have cited.

The situation with the MSA that you cite is completely different, and which quite clearly requires correspondence to occur between brothers and sisters.

And i don't think the example of Sayyid Maududi and Sr. Maryam is valid because they didn't have chatrooms in those days. *smile*

Writing letters which are obviously for da'wah, which are being sent across continents as was the case with the above two, is completely different to sitting down for hours at a time in the evening/night-time discussing topics with members of the opposite sex.

There are practising brothers and sisters whose marriages have been destroyed because a platonic relationship between one of them and an unrelated member of the opposite sex online developed too much; people entering into false marriages after meeting others online... and many other bad things.

Perhaps we can ask Se7en to re-iterate Islam's principle of Qat'ul-asbaab? *smile*

Just to give this a context and bring the issue closer to home, how many brothers feel comfortable if their sister was hanging about in chat rooms, even if it was discussing Islamic topics with brothers?

Taken from

He is the noble Shaykh Dr. 'Abdullaah Ibn 'Abdur-Rahmaan Jibreen.

He was born in Miz'al in the town of al-Quway'iyyah to the west of Riyadh in 1349 A.H./1930 C.E.

He studied with a number of scholars, amongst them his first Shaykh - Abu Habeeb 'Abdul-'Azeez ash-Shushree, and also Shaykh Muhammad Ibn Ibraaheem Aal ash-Shaykh, and Shaykh Ismaa'eel al-Ansaaree, and his excellency the noble Shaykh 'Abdul-'Azeez Ibn Baaz.

In 1381 A.H./1962 C.E. he was appointed to teach various aspects of the Sharee'ah at the Institute of Imaam ad-Da'wah. He then transferred to the Faculty of Sharee'ah, specifically the department of 'aqeedah. In 1402 A.H./1983 C.E. he was appointed a member of the Administration of Islaamic Research.

In 1390 A.H./1971 C.E. he was awarded a Masters degree from the University of Imaam Muhammad in Riyadh. The title of his research paper was "Akhbaar al-Aahaad fil-Hadeeth an-Nabawee". In 1407 A.H./ 1988 C.E. he was awarded a Doctorate with an grade of excellence, and that was for his research paper entitled: "Tahqeeq Kitaab az-Zarkashee 'alaa Mukhtasir al-Kharqee".

He is a member of the General Presidency of Islaamic Research, Iftaa, Call and Propagation, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. He also participates in various seminars and religious forums for the purpose of the propagation of the call to Islaam. He also delivers special lectures for the same cause. He has compiled many books and pamphlets on various Islaamic topics.

Wa Salaam

PS Sh. Munajjid is one of Sh. Ibn Jibreen's students.
07/18/02 at 18:55:17
Re: Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?
07/18/02 at 19:11:37

Ah, so it's Shaykh Jibreen.  I always thought his name was Shaykh Jibreen.  I guess it's *Ibn* Jibreen.

The fatwa is still a bit strange, not because of what it's intending to say but the way that it is saying it.  If you just read the question and the answer that are given, it is not clear that he is talking in the context of "platonic relationships" or what happens in chat rooms.  I say it's "strange" because usually the fatwas are written with great care and the words are chosen very carefully not to give the wrong impression to the reader.  So if it's a specific ruling about a specific *type* of correspondance, then it should be obvious in the fatwa.  It just doesn't seem to be so, at least to me, wallahu a'lam, because the fatwa addresses "correspondance" in general.  No mention is made anywhere on the type of correspondance nor the internet or chat.  Au cotnraire, the question actually explicitly mentions "letters and correspondance," and not email or chat.

Maybe the original Arabic had more in it, and the English version has been abridged/summarized ?
Re: Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?
07/23/02 at 01:08:19
as salaamu alaykum,

[quote]Perhaps we can ask Se7en to re-iterate Islam's principle of Qat'ul-asbaab? *smile* [/quote]

Hmm.. talk about preaching what you don't practice!!  :(

fearful re Quran [url=]2:44[/url] and [url=]61:2[/url],

07/23/02 at 01:08:50
Re: Very Confused- Is online chatting haram?
07/23/02 at 13:38:46
Asslamu Alikum

I just want to clear this up in my head about talking to a prospective partner....

Is it not even okay to talk on the phone/email whilst your sitting beside your family
member?  If not, how are you suppose to ask all the questions (like deen,interests etc) to
make sure he/she is the one you want to marry?  Its sometimes hard to remember all the
questions you want to ask when the families do get together to talk.  You end up thinking I
wished I asked this and that later on.

Can someone recommend the best way to get around this and what they did.

Jazakallah kair

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