[MADRASA] Status of an offender who offers an apology

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[MADRASA] Status of an offender who offers an apology
08/18/01 at 03:43:25
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

Recently I became involved in a situation of fitnah where I lost my temper and defamed a person in a public Internet forum (for Muslims).

Afterwards, I felt tremendous remorse, I issued a public apology to this person, and made salat at-tawbah. At that time I had already left the forum with the intention of coming back to participate if and only if the fitnah stopped. The person accepted my apology, publicly, with no hesitation.

I thought this was to be the end of the fitnah. However, when I looked to see if the problems had blown over, not only did other people involved continue fighting over the subject, but they also continued to criticise me and blame me for the continuance of the fitnah even after I had left the forum.

This upset me greatly, as my repentance both public and private was utmostly sincere, and the victim had accepted my apology.

Were they right in continuing to blame me, or should the issue have ended upon the victim's acceptance of apology? What is my status before Allah Ta'aala as a result of this? What is the best way for me to handle a situation like this? I have chosen to refuse to interact with the members of this forum because I want to avoid further problems. Yet I see them in other forums, and the situation is very awkward.

I did my best to repair the situation according to my duties toward Allah Ta'aala, and that in itself is a major accomplishment for someone such as myself who has trouble dealing with anger management issues. Perhaps I deserve to carry on in a state of humiliation, but that doesn't seem right to me. I feel as though the tables have turned and now I am a victim, but no one feels obliged to apologisa to me and I won't go back in there and ask for that. I was blamed for being self-righteous, and now I am being treated in the same manner.

I would appreciate any Hadeeth references on this, jazak'allah khayr.

Wasalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Busted Hypocrite


Asalaam alaikum wrt wb,

In addition to what was mentioned for you to
have total repetance, insha'Allah read this.

You must realize that you have done something
very serious. This major sin you have done could be
considered even worse then adultery, because you
have committed two infringements; one upon the
limits of Allah, and this must be expiated by
repentance and regret. The second is on the rights of your brothers/sisters.

So not only must you ask for forgiveness from
Allah (SWT) but also from the person(s) you
harmed. Alhumdullilah, it appears that you
have taken the right course of action.

Many people take this for granted and forget
that they need to ask for forgiveness from
their brother or sister whom they harmed
(provided the persons harmed knew this took
place, as was the case here).

"Whoever has wronged his brother, in the way of property or honor, let him go to him and
repair it, before it is taken [from him on a day] when he has no dirhams or dinars, such that if
he has any good deeds, some of the good deeds will be taken and given to [the wronged
one], otherwise [if he has no goo deeds], some of the other's evil deeds will be taken and
cast upon him." [Bukhari, Al-Mazalim, 5/121, #2449. Ahmad, Al-Musnad, 2/435]

In addition to this major sin, it looks you were
involved in namemah (tale bearing, causing
corruption or division among people). Some
scholars consider this a major sin as well.

Alhumdullilah it looks like the other people in
that chat room objected to this behavior and
stood up for their brother, otherwise they too
could be guilty of being involved in this sin.

Imam Al-hasan Al-basri said, "You should know
that who ever came to you to talk badly about
another person now, will go to others to talk
badly about you." As you don?t like to be his
victim tomorrow, you should not allow other
Muslims to be his victim today. Deal with other
people like you would like to be dealt with.

For now this is all I will say about this topic,
but this is something serious that Muslims take
for granted.


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