Communications with Non-Mehrums

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Communications with Non-Mehrums
05/12/01 at 15:07:42
I understand that communication with nonmehrums is supposed to be limited (if not avoided completely) but how does this apply to talking ONLINE....i.e. ICQ, chatrooms, message is not communication face to face but i is talking on the what r ur ideas on this?

Was salam

Re: Communications with Non-Mehrums
05/13/01 at 11:43:40
a south afeican alim said chat rooms are harram for this reason, you cant tell the sex of the person you talk to.
Re: Communications with Non-Mehrums
05/13/01 at 20:03:55

Taken from Islam Q&A (

Hope it helps.


      Well a year from now one of my friend, a girl, had introduced me to one of
      her online brother..and we have been talkin online for about a year now.
      Its not like we have ever talked about anything indecent, we talk in a well
      respected manner, and he sometimes jokes around,too. We both are aware
      of our religion..and we know how it is haraam to have girlfriends or
      boyfriends. But over time we both hav grown interested in each other.. and
      he has told me that he wants to marry me, but right now is too soon, i m
      only 16 and will be 17 in 2 months... the situation is too hard to
      explain...and i am really confused on what should be done..and what
      shouldnt. I really dont want to do anything that is Haraam or isnt right.. and
      i do have faith in Allah..that if he is good for me oneday we will be
      together... So i just needed some advice on this.. is talkin to a non-mahram
      guy online wrong?.. And this is the only way we know each other which is
      through internet...we havent met..but we have seen each other's pictures..
      Well i hope all this makes sense to you..and you will be able to help me out
      here, cause right now i really need it.. i have been lookin through ur site
      and trying to learn more about our religion..and it is mashallah a good
      source.. but me still confused..about this situation... we havent done
      anything wrong..just talk online.. and hoping that Allah will guide us to be
      together... but the question that keeps coming up on my mind is if
      Islaamicaly is all this acceptable.. i have talked to other ppl..and he has
      talked to people too..and some say its wrong...and some say its ok as long
      as our niyyat is good and we havent done anything wrong.
      please give me some advice here..thank you.. khuda hafiz


      Praise be to Allaah.

      It is known in the religion of Allaah that it is forbidden to follow in
      the footsteps of the Shaytaan. Everything that could lead a person
      to fall into haraam things is also haraam, even if in principle it is
      originally permitted. This is what the scholars call “the principle of
      warding off harm.”

      Concerning this matter, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

      “O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan.”
      [al-Noor 24:21].

      With regard to the second matter, He says (interpretation of the

      “And insult not those whom they (disbelievers) worship besides
      Allaah, lest they insult Allaah wrongfully without knowledge…”
      [al-An’aam 6:108]

      Here Allaah forbids the believers to insult the mushrikeen lest that
      leads to them insulting the Lord, may He be glorified and exalted.

      There are many examples of this principle in sharee’ah. Ibn
      al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) mentioned many of
      them and explained them well in his excellent book A’laam
      al-Muwaqqi’een. (See 3/147-171 thereof).

      The issue under discussion here also comes under this category.
      Conversation – whether verbally or in writing – between men and
      women is permissible in and of itself, but it may be a way of falling
      into the traps of the Shaytaan.

      Whoever knows that he is somewhat weak, and is afraid that he
      may fall into the traps of the Shaytaan, has to refrain from such
      conversations, in order to save himself.

      Whoever is sure that he will be able to remain steadfast, then we
      think that it is permissible in his case, but there are certain

        1.The conversation should not be allowed to wander too far
           from the topic being discussed; or it should be for the
           purposes of calling others to Islam.

        2.They should not let their voices be soft, or use soft and gentle

        3.They should not ask about personal matters that have no
           bearing on the matter being discussed, such as how old a
           person is, how tall he or she is, or where he or she lives…

        4.Other brothers (in the case of men) or sisters (in the case of
           women) should take part in the conversation or read the
           correspondence, so that the Shaytaan will find no way to
           enter the hearts of the people who are conversing or
        5.The conversation or correspondence must be halted
           immediately if the heart starts to stir with feelings of desire.

            Islam Q&A (


      I have been using chat session for some time I am a married woman
      mother of two. During one session with a Male member, i got a little
      emotionally involved and even went to the extent of sending my photo
      thru email.I feel very guilty now and feel very ashamed of my behaviour.I
      also want to say that i never once indulged in immoral behaviour and any
      usage of bad language. Please tell me if what i have done is Haram. I have
      been asking for Almighty Allahs pardon since then. Could you please help
      me out in this.


      Praise be to Allaah.

      Firstly, there is no doubt that such conversations, if they lead to
      evil and to fitnah (temptation) – as happened to you when you
      were infatuated with this man – are haraam and are not permitted.
      Everything that leads to haraam is also haraam. See the answer to
      Question # 6453.  

      Secondly: you have to repent to Allaah and seek His forgiveness
      for doing this haraam thing. You have to regret it and immediately
      stop engaging in chats with non-mahram men on these channels.
      You have to ask Allaah to cover your faults in this world and in the
      Hereafter. We advise you to use your time in things that will
      benefit you in your religious and worldly affairs, such as learning
      about your religion, taking care of your husband and looking after
      your children. Undoubtedly these are things for which Allaah will
      reward you. And you have to do a lot of righteous deeds, and get
      to know good women so that you will have alternatives to harmful
      uses of your time that bring no benefits. We ask Allaah to guide us
      all and give us all strength.


And Allah knows best.
Re: Communications with Non-Mehrums
05/18/01 at 16:46:11
hmm i was surperised not many poeple had ne comments on this one since it does pertain to message borads......oh well.. thanks for the input people
Re: Communications with Non-Mehrums
05/18/01 at 17:24:09
These are pretty good guidelines for this board as well:
1.The conversation should not be allowed to wander too far
                   from the topic being discussed; or it should be for the
                   purposes of calling others to Islam.

                2.They should not let their voices be soft, or use soft and gentle

                3.They should not ask about personal matters that have no
                   bearing on the matter being discussed, such as how old a
                   person is, how tall he or she is, or where he or she lives…

                4.Other brothers (in the case of men) or sisters (in the case of
                   women) should take part in the conversation or read the
                   correspondence, so that the Shaytaan will find no way to
                   enter the hearts of the people who are conversing or
                5.The conversation or correspondence must be halted
                   immediately if the heart starts to stir with feelings of desire. [/quote]
Census. Basement Musalah. Online Dawah Avatars & Communications with Non-Mehrums
05/20/01 at 04:42:15

        Peace and e-Greetings be upon you all.

        So it's 2:51 am here in Toronto early on this Sunday Morning.

        I am FINALLY able to find THIS time free to re-invigorate
        my madina community addiction and catch up on all the posts
        I've missed in this week past.

        And then I come across this one thread...

        Well...I'll give this thread a shot.

        The past little while, in addition to my main work life,
        I took a temporary contract position with Statistics Canada.

        We've been doing the census, counting everybody in Canada.
        I'm doing my part by taking care of a little part of Toronto.

        Toronto doesn't really have any slums, by American Standards,
        but as with any city of any great size, drugs, prostitution,
        and that duniya-lifestyle find their place and take root.

        Here in Toronto, is just such a neighbourhood.

        It's called 'Regent Park.'

        The Day BEFORE I was scheduled to start knocking on doors,
        someone was shot. Right on Regent Street.

        in FRONT of the 51 division Police Station.

        20 feet across the Street from the grade school, beside the
        Police Station.

        The cops, sitting in their offices, with their windows open,
        Hear the shots, look out the window, and ironically, become

        The guy was DOA at St. Mike's, the closest hospital.

        ...I'm getting to the point as to how this is
           connected to Sr. Haseeba's query...Have Sabr!!! ;)

        The OTHER census takers just happened to be working that
        street and were, understandably, freaked out. They were called
        back to the office, released for the weekend, with full pay.

        I started the following Monday instead.

        Going door to door to door, pretty much EVERY second or THIRD
        door had behind it a muslim family with a muslim story.

        Well sometimes, just the Muslim Sister would answer the door,
        because she saw me with my Kufi on my head, so of course
        I'm a muslim and she opens the door...but then tells me
        to come back when her hubby is there and HE can talk to me.

        N.B. The questions take literally less than 3 minutes to do.

        Other times, Solitary sisters do NOT get into the same
        elevator as me and my co-census-taker. They wait for the next
        one as we're going up and down the Buildings' LIfts.

        Sometimes, The Muslim women who answer the door, call their
        kids to stand at the doorway with them as we go through
        the survey and X this and X that and Fill this box and Fill
       that Box etc etc etc.

        One Coptic Christian Lady answered her door, and I believe
        seeing that I was an obvious muslim, felt, I think 'SAFE'
        enough to answer the census form questions at the door.

        Friday came, and with my two fellow muslim co-workers on hte
       census team, I attended Juma for the first time in my life
        at this basement musalah that was just beside Regent Park.

        I see a number of the same faces that Answered the door.
        A smile or few here and there as recognition kicks in.

        Alhumdulillah, Allah allows me to make the first row.
       it's been a while since I had that privilege on any juma.

        Right at the corner where the entrance to the Musalah is,
        is the intersection of Parliament and Shuter Street.

        One of the major intersections where Prostitutes/Hookers
        walk around, even at 11 am! In the nooks and crannies
        off to the side of the streets, between the houses and
        behind the stores, CrackHeads sit and sell and smoke and
        hide from the cops, their bizness of drug dealing.

         Shaytaan and his successes for all to see.

        But...then...earlier tonight, I was talking to the Imam
        and four of the 'regulars' after maghrib right up just before
        Isha's been...about 5-7 hours since this
        'instant halaqa' happened.

        Me being me, I mostly enquire about what I don't know
        about the area and learn some neat things:

        There are at LEAST 2000 muslim families in walking distance
        of this Musalah. Most of them have been there only since '95.

        The Musalah has been there since late in 1995. and has
        done 5 tarawihs/Ramadhan since founding.

        They have a sisters area in the back.

        ...BUT this place, this little OASIS, to borrow a neighbouring forum name, this oasis is literally 4 doors down
        from wherre the hookers are standing nights and sometimes
        through the day.

        The back of the Masjid leads to a single sidewalk laneway
        where crackheads walk when they see cops on the street.

        ...And during our little instant halaqa, the imam recalls
        an event that happened once a few years back.

        He and a few other brothers were a few blocks away and
        salat time came. Instead of go to and from the masjid, they
        decided to pray outside on the grass.

        They form Iqamah and start... Then...a HOMELESS man
        comes from out of his cardboard place, joins the iqamah/jamat
        and prays along.

        After salat, the brothers are surprised that this homeless
        man was muslim and knew how to pray and JOINed them just like
        that. He couldn't speak english and the HomeLess Muslim
        couldn't grasp the offer of shelter and help just blocks away
       at this musalah. They weren't able to communicate beyond
        performing Salat in Jamat.

        The Imam never saw this man again. Ever.

        Hmmm...It's deep into 3 am now and I've been pecking away
        at this post for a while...IF anyone is STILL reading this
        post (!) I'll wrap it up with this HiMY observation:

        People drive around this intersection looking for

        Zina things




        but instead see Hijabs, Kufis, beards and Muslims.
        ...Plus a Halal food store/restaurant just beside the Musalah.

        People MAY go online looking for cybersex, basically
        typing about zina, and instead, i hope, and Allah knows
        better, MAY instead encounter an


          or an


          or an


          or an


       As this Regent Park Neighbourhood is being flooded with
       Muslims, the non-Muslim element is being displaced, reduced,
       and inshAllah becomes a MUSLIM element in the city.

       Generic-Secular-Online Message Boards...if enough
       muslims populated THOSE boards with a Halal muslim presence
       I think/hope/suspect the 'Good' that's going on in Regent Park
       may mirror what goes on in cyberspace...'s pretty late now...I'll post this as is

       and then modify this post in this thread to have it make more
       sense later. ;)

       Salam y'all,

       Your sorta sleepy brother in Toronto,

       ~ HiMY! ~

Re: Communications with Non-Mehrums
05/20/01 at 18:44:47
Asalaamu Alaikum ;-)

A couple of thoughts Br HiMY

[quote]As this Regent Park Neighbourhood is being flooded with
      Muslims, the non-Muslim element is being displaced, reduced,
      and inshAllah becomes a MUSLIM element in the city.

      Generic-Secular-Online Message Boards...if enough
      muslims populated THOSE boards with a Halal muslim presence
      I think/hope/suspect the 'Good' that's going on in Regent Park
      may mirror what goes on in cyberspace...[/quote]

1. I wonder how many of the Regent Park Neighbourhood are suffering lowering levels of Iman because of their close proximity to the sorry state around them. Consequently, if you frequent secular message boards, isn't there a chance a similar thing may happen?

(I know there's a dawah issue here but I'm assuming you wrote the above in the a non dawah context. Let me know if that assumption was wrong)

2. Having made point 1, I would say though that in my experience, non-Muslims do tend to find living next to Muslims unnerving (for want of a better word) and do tend to move on from the area when they get the chance.

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